Memo to all students:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and
productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all
students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH
INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the
course, please see your lecturer. You will be immediately placed at the
top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially skilled at
seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Students who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS(D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail
to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL
ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.).

Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don't have
to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already. If you
are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others.
We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.
S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career in management and
consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL
RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes how to
manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.). Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)

PS.

You may send this S.H.I.T. to friends who need S.H.I.T. in their life,
just not the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T., they have already
had their fill of S.H.I.T. Thank You for your time.

Sincerely,The Director Under the Michigan Bureau of Super High
Intensity Teaching.(The D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.)