Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:
Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Carl Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)
Monica Cheng => Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
Suzie Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)
Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)
Friday, October 3, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? ( anyone)
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller: I'm Sam Wan ( someone) And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's
this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan ( no one ) was
involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being
sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then
the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't
have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Lee. (sorry)
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Why hello there Mini!
Originally from lowyat.net
by Vijandren Ramadass
Friday, 05 September 2008 12:59 AM
Dell today officially unveiled the Inspiron Mini 9. This small, easy-to-carry device stands ready to connect teens, tweens, travelers and “Tweeters” to their online world be it surfing the Web, chatting with friends, blogging, streaming content, uploading photos or enjoying favorite online videos, music and games. The Inspiron Mini is an affordable Internet companion that can be fine-tuned to fit users’ specific needs and deeds. It is currently not available yet at the Dell Malaysia Store, but we do believe it will appear on the site sometime soon.
With a starting weight of 2.28 lbs (approx 1kg), digital nomads will value the Inspiron Mini’s durable design, with sealed keyboard and reliable solid state drive (SSD) memory storage. A bright 8.9 inch glossy LED display (1024x600) presents most web pages with no left-right scrolling, and the keypads are large and easy to navigate. Standard built-in Wi-Fi means quick and easy wireless internet access to hotspots in the home, on campus, in a local coffee shop, in the office or at a conference. More details and specifications after the jump.
The Inspiron Mini can be further customized with optional technology like: - Built-in Webcam, bundled with Dell Video Chat, making it easy to stay in touch using video chat, recording and sending video emails, or even PC-to-PC phone calls around the world. DVC even supports four-way calling, making virtual family reunions a reality. - Built-in Bluetooth for easy wireless connections to Bluetooth-enabled accessories like a pair of stereo headphones, a mouse, a printer, etc Dell has teamed up with Box.net to offer exclusive web-based file storage, access and sharing to Inspiron Mini users, including a free Basic plan with 2GB of remote storage space, expandable to 25GB. Dell’s Inspiron Mini will include a direct link to a Dell-exclusive home page on Box.net, providing users with an easy way to add incremental online storage space to easily manage their digital lives. Individuals can safely and securely upload files of any type to their Box, including photos, videos, music, documents and presentations, and then access those files from almost anywhere on any device.
Individual & Intuitive, Simple & Stylish
Individuals can personalize their Inspiron Mini with choice of colors – Obsidian Black or Alpine White – and interaction experience – optional Windows XP or Ubuntu 8.04 with custom Dell interface (coming soon). For those looking for a more traditional and familiar experience, the Inspiron Mini with Windows XP Home is available immediately starting at $399 (approx RM1,400).
Inspiron Mini devices featuring an intuitive Dell-developed custom interface are expected to be available in a few weeks with a starting price of $349. The custom home screen is designed to make it easy to find what people are looking for. Intuitive icons link directly to groups of similar applications, like games, Web and entertainment, and favorite web links for quick access. Plus, the home screen can be personalized, putting your favorites front and center.
This highly mobile and fun device can be carried anywhere in style thanks to a full line of custom “Designed for Dell” backpacks, messenger bags and convertible cases from merchants including Timbuk2. Blending high fashion and superior function, the coordinated bags and accessories incorporate subtle design elements and offer Inspiron Mini owners a unique way to express a personalized, integrated style. “Designed for Dell” products currently are available in the United States, Canada and Europe.
Finishing Touches
Dell provides a variety of service offerings and add-on options to help ensure devices are easy to use and maintain optimal performance, including:
Dell Support Center: Quickly access Dell service and support from an icon on your desktop that provides automated fixes, software upgrades and tools to help keep your system up-to-date and running efficiently.
DellConnectTM Remote Assistance: Dell experts help diagnose and solve PC problems via an Internet connection (available only on Windows-based systems).
by Vijandren Ramadass
Friday, 05 September 2008 12:59 AM
Dell today officially unveiled the Inspiron Mini 9. This small, easy-to-carry device stands ready to connect teens, tweens, travelers and “Tweeters” to their online world be it surfing the Web, chatting with friends, blogging, streaming content, uploading photos or enjoying favorite online videos, music and games. The Inspiron Mini is an affordable Internet companion that can be fine-tuned to fit users’ specific needs and deeds. It is currently not available yet at the Dell Malaysia Store, but we do believe it will appear on the site sometime soon.
With a starting weight of 2.28 lbs (approx 1kg), digital nomads will value the Inspiron Mini’s durable design, with sealed keyboard and reliable solid state drive (SSD) memory storage. A bright 8.9 inch glossy LED display (1024x600) presents most web pages with no left-right scrolling, and the keypads are large and easy to navigate. Standard built-in Wi-Fi means quick and easy wireless internet access to hotspots in the home, on campus, in a local coffee shop, in the office or at a conference. More details and specifications after the jump.
The Inspiron Mini can be further customized with optional technology like: - Built-in Webcam, bundled with Dell Video Chat, making it easy to stay in touch using video chat, recording and sending video emails, or even PC-to-PC phone calls around the world. DVC even supports four-way calling, making virtual family reunions a reality. - Built-in Bluetooth for easy wireless connections to Bluetooth-enabled accessories like a pair of stereo headphones, a mouse, a printer, etc Dell has teamed up with Box.net to offer exclusive web-based file storage, access and sharing to Inspiron Mini users, including a free Basic plan with 2GB of remote storage space, expandable to 25GB. Dell’s Inspiron Mini will include a direct link to a Dell-exclusive home page on Box.net, providing users with an easy way to add incremental online storage space to easily manage their digital lives. Individuals can safely and securely upload files of any type to their Box, including photos, videos, music, documents and presentations, and then access those files from almost anywhere on any device.
Individual & Intuitive, Simple & Stylish
Individuals can personalize their Inspiron Mini with choice of colors – Obsidian Black or Alpine White – and interaction experience – optional Windows XP or Ubuntu 8.04 with custom Dell interface (coming soon). For those looking for a more traditional and familiar experience, the Inspiron Mini with Windows XP Home is available immediately starting at $399 (approx RM1,400).
Inspiron Mini devices featuring an intuitive Dell-developed custom interface are expected to be available in a few weeks with a starting price of $349. The custom home screen is designed to make it easy to find what people are looking for. Intuitive icons link directly to groups of similar applications, like games, Web and entertainment, and favorite web links for quick access. Plus, the home screen can be personalized, putting your favorites front and center.
This highly mobile and fun device can be carried anywhere in style thanks to a full line of custom “Designed for Dell” backpacks, messenger bags and convertible cases from merchants including Timbuk2. Blending high fashion and superior function, the coordinated bags and accessories incorporate subtle design elements and offer Inspiron Mini owners a unique way to express a personalized, integrated style. “Designed for Dell” products currently are available in the United States, Canada and Europe.
Finishing Touches
Dell provides a variety of service offerings and add-on options to help ensure devices are easy to use and maintain optimal performance, including:
Dell Support Center: Quickly access Dell service and support from an icon on your desktop that provides automated fixes, software upgrades and tools to help keep your system up-to-date and running efficiently.
DellConnectTM Remote Assistance: Dell experts help diagnose and solve PC problems via an Internet connection (available only on Windows-based systems).
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Funny IQ picture Questions
共有五題，
传闻由 師大附中本屆三年級的某位白痴同學所創~
第一題
請問他是什麼人？
传闻由 師大附中本屆三年級的某位白痴同學所創~
第一題
請問他是什麼人？
解：洛克人.......因為 g(克) 掉下來~
第二題
請問他是什麼人？,
解：台中人.......(抬鐘人)
第三題
請問他是什麼人？
解：原住民.......(圓柱)
第四題
請問他是什麼人？
解：客家人..................(嗑家人)l
第五題
請問他是什麼人？
解........
......................... 獨G老人................
你......冷到了嗎？
都沒答對的話. ..
證明你是正常人 .....
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Poem from UTARian
I join Utar because UM reject me,
I thought Utar would be a good uni,
but end up wanna lompat from KLCC...
Utar exist thanks to MCA,
Dr Ling always said Utar bagus;
as he employed all MCA members,
so you can see cina, cina and cina...
Admin people not helpful,
always ask us to tunggu, tunggu, tunggu;
do things slow like siput,
remind again kena marah like gila...
Big white shark always tipu us,
said we could form any clubs;
when we want snooker club,
she said snookers only for smookers...
Utar treat us like donkey,
each seminar put us different places;
from block PA move to block PD,
distance PA to PD is 2km ...
FICT is getting crazy,
keep changing subjects for different intakes;
make us cannot get notes from seniors,
pity us have to study the whole text book...
Utar is University Tak Ada Ruang,
everything in Utar is limited;
based on first-come-first-serve basis,
if you are slow then is too bad ...
Classrooms in Utar are 'cheap sikit',
aircon not cold, we pening kepala,
tables, chairs, white boards all too small,
I wonder who could take the toll...
I drive CLK to Utar everyday,
kesian my Cute Little Kelisa got no place to park,
so I always block people's car,
leave message to remove car,
but end up polis give me summons...
PA canteen uncle very gemuk one,
I think he wear 65 inches pants,
always scold his worker malas tak kerja,
and the food always sejuk tak sedap ...
Library in Utar really kecil,
no books, no seats, no tables;
students there are very noisy,
sometimes I feel like bunuh them...
Utar computer lab tiada standard,
lab assistant always naik angin,
because we always ask him to change ribbon,
and Utar server always go mati ...
Utar got no place for revision,
every corner I go always see people,
break time I always get crazy,
because there is no place to study...
95 percent Utar student are Chinese,
only talk Mandarin, Hokkien and Hakka,
cannot speak a word in English,
so they always carry a electronic dictionary...
No doubts Utar got leng lui,
very pretty, very cute, and sexy,
make sure you got money before asking them out,
if not later she lari...
Utar always claim itself ada standard,
but you will vomit when u know the truth,
paying RM4,000-plus every semester,
but you’ll never get the value of 4k ...
Maybe you don't believe that Utar is so lousy,
you may ask your friends from Utar,
to see whether I'm telling the truth,
I'm here to let u know how bad it is ...
So please study hard in STPM,
so that you can go local U,
if not you'll be like me,
paying so much but still empty!
I thought Utar would be a good uni,
but end up wanna lompat from KLCC...
Utar exist thanks to MCA,
Dr Ling always said Utar bagus;
as he employed all MCA members,
so you can see cina, cina and cina...
Admin people not helpful,
always ask us to tunggu, tunggu, tunggu;
do things slow like siput,
remind again kena marah like gila...
Big white shark always tipu us,
said we could form any clubs;
when we want snooker club,
she said snookers only for smookers...
Utar treat us like donkey,
each seminar put us different places;
from block PA move to block PD,
distance PA to PD is 2km ...
FICT is getting crazy,
keep changing subjects for different intakes;
make us cannot get notes from seniors,
pity us have to study the whole text book...
Utar is University Tak Ada Ruang,
everything in Utar is limited;
based on first-come-first-serve basis,
if you are slow then is too bad ...
Classrooms in Utar are 'cheap sikit',
aircon not cold, we pening kepala,
tables, chairs, white boards all too small,
I wonder who could take the toll...
I drive CLK to Utar everyday,
kesian my Cute Little Kelisa got no place to park,
so I always block people's car,
leave message to remove car,
but end up polis give me summons...
PA canteen uncle very gemuk one,
I think he wear 65 inches pants,
always scold his worker malas tak kerja,
and the food always sejuk tak sedap ...
Library in Utar really kecil,
no books, no seats, no tables;
students there are very noisy,
sometimes I feel like bunuh them...
Utar computer lab tiada standard,
lab assistant always naik angin,
because we always ask him to change ribbon,
and Utar server always go mati ...
Utar got no place for revision,
every corner I go always see people,
break time I always get crazy,
because there is no place to study...
95 percent Utar student are Chinese,
only talk Mandarin, Hokkien and Hakka,
cannot speak a word in English,
so they always carry a electronic dictionary...
No doubts Utar got leng lui,
very pretty, very cute, and sexy,
make sure you got money before asking them out,
if not later she lari...
Utar always claim itself ada standard,
but you will vomit when u know the truth,
paying RM4,000-plus every semester,
but you’ll never get the value of 4k ...
Maybe you don't believe that Utar is so lousy,
you may ask your friends from Utar,
to see whether I'm telling the truth,
I'm here to let u know how bad it is ...
So please study hard in STPM,
so that you can go local U,
if not you'll be like me,
paying so much but still empty!
A Poem of INTI
At first I love INTI
But INTI loves my money
I ask money from daddy
But daddy asks mummy
Mummy goes to INTI
And find out why INTI's so greedy
The lift always mati
And the guards look like monkey
That's why I started to hate INTI
INTI don't love me
What for I love INTI
All they need is money
Nothing but money, money and money
The lecturers teach like bugs bunny
No wonder they're so lousy
And their faces look so funny
Like Talos the mummy
Futhermore, more more money flows to INTI
But they never plant more trees
All because they want to save money
Make all students feel hot to mati
First I entered INTI I got no kaki
Later I found someone likes to play tai tee
Then I started don't want to study
Here we can find a lot of kaki judi
That's why we must blame INTI
Since I entered INTI I cant see any leng lui lili sexy
Even the lecturers are more pretty
I always want to date them for tea
But I always kejar they always lari
Dr. Lim from SOLLA always lan si
People said his pucuk already mati
Even Viagra also tak boleh jadi
That's why loh people say he is 'cc'
He likes to tell jokes to everybody
But his joke never funny
Sometimes people thinks that his crazy
Dr. Lim so pity
INTI's toilets really smelly
No water no api
Even you haven't pee
You want to lari
Always complain they also say soli soli
Tan yew sing always said his INTI got quality
Instead everyone knows they are lousy
INTI motive just to earn more money
So that they can pay lecturers salary
And INTI share in KLSE can naik lagi
Waterfish like us always press by INTI
Just to tipu more more money
That is all the story about INTI
Which loves money
But after all I still come to INTI
To contribute money
(u r not in INTI?
u r very lucky
coz INTI cant bluff ur money
just cabut n jangan kembali~!!)
Student of INTI
noway to lari
already jadi SuiYee (waterfish)
plz tell everybody
jangan kena tipu lagi
But INTI loves my money
I ask money from daddy
But daddy asks mummy
Mummy goes to INTI
And find out why INTI's so greedy
The lift always mati
And the guards look like monkey
That's why I started to hate INTI
INTI don't love me
What for I love INTI
All they need is money
Nothing but money, money and money
The lecturers teach like bugs bunny
No wonder they're so lousy
And their faces look so funny
Like Talos the mummy
Futhermore, more more money flows to INTI
But they never plant more trees
All because they want to save money
Make all students feel hot to mati
First I entered INTI I got no kaki
Later I found someone likes to play tai tee
Then I started don't want to study
Here we can find a lot of kaki judi
That's why we must blame INTI
Since I entered INTI I cant see any leng lui lili sexy
Even the lecturers are more pretty
I always want to date them for tea
But I always kejar they always lari
Dr. Lim from SOLLA always lan si
People said his pucuk already mati
Even Viagra also tak boleh jadi
That's why loh people say he is 'cc'
He likes to tell jokes to everybody
But his joke never funny
Sometimes people thinks that his crazy
Dr. Lim so pity
INTI's toilets really smelly
No water no api
Even you haven't pee
You want to lari
Always complain they also say soli soli
Tan yew sing always said his INTI got quality
Instead everyone knows they are lousy
INTI motive just to earn more money
So that they can pay lecturers salary
And INTI share in KLSE can naik lagi
Waterfish like us always press by INTI
Just to tipu more more money
That is all the story about INTI
Which loves money
But after all I still come to INTI
To contribute money
(u r not in INTI?
u r very lucky
coz INTI cant bluff ur money
just cabut n jangan kembali~!!)
Student of INTI
noway to lari
already jadi SuiYee (waterfish)
plz tell everybody
jangan kena tipu lagi
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
令人傻眼的中國簡史
作者： hot1010k
盤古說：我開
女媧說：我補
共工說：我撞
神農說：我嘗
精衛說：我填
誇父說：我追
后羿說：我射
嫦娥說：沒射著！
~~~
黃帝說：我們做什麼
堯說：我讓
舜說：我也讓
禹說：咱爺們怎麼辦？
啟說：讓他們求！
桀說：好玩
湯說：造反有理了
夏亡了……
~~~
紂說：痛快
武王說：我也反了
商亡了……
~~~
幽王說：點火
褒姒說：刺激
周也亡了……
~~~
干將說：我鑄
專諸說：我舞
荊柯說：我刺
瀛政一躲：沒刺著……
~~~
始皇說：我修
姜女說：我哭
陳勝說：有種
項羽說：我舉
劉邦說：我斬
秦亡了……
~~~
孔子說：我仁
孟子說：我義
老子說：我無為
莊子說：我逍遙
韓非子說：把他們全抓了
~~~
張良說：我出謀劃策
韓信說：我統帥三軍
蕭何說：我運籌帷幄
高祖說：老婆，怎麼辦
呂后說：全喀嚓了
~~~
文景說：我治
武帝說：我興
光武說：我中興
獻帝說：我說了不算
~~~
張騫說：我通
班超說：我也通
蘇武說：通個屁！
~~~
衛青說：我打
霍去病說：我也打
李廣說：我還打
昭君嫣然暈笑，遂天下太平
~~~
董卓說：我勢大
呂布說：我人帥
貂嬋說：你們倆誰厲害
董卓完蛋了
~~~
曹操說：快幫我脫鞋迎老許
劉備說：快給我牽驢來訪諸葛
孫權說：周郎自有妙計安天下
周瑜說：加油，燒死老曹
諸葛說：天下三分，人人有份
司馬昭說：向劉備同志學習
晉開始了
~~~
司馬遷說：要想成功，不怕被宮
班固說：我要出書
司馬相如說：一首賦稿費一千
曹操說：抄傢伙我要賦詩
曹植說：命題作文有何難
孔明說：我要寫道動員令
陶潛說：你們累不累呀。遂捲鋪蓋回家了
~~~
劉裕說：我同花順
蕭道成說：我一條順
陳霸先說：重新洗牌...
~~~
楊廣說：去揚州觀花
李淵說：消來公費旅遊
李世民說：魏，你的意思
李治說：老婆，你的意思
武則天說：那還不如我說了算
薛剛說：反了你了！
~~~
駱賓王說：鵝肥
王勃說：情深
李白說：酒美
王維說：景幽
孟浩然說：風流
杜甫說：屋漏
白居易說：抱想琵琶唱OK
李商隱：我沒話說了
~~~
柴榮說：三武廢費有我一份
趙匡胤說：今年流行黃袍子
寇准說：帶上瓶醋談判去
李剛說：保家衛國
徽宗說：沒保成
欽宗說：我想回家
金兀朱說：沒門
趙構說：把姓岳的抓了
岳飛說：我有何罪？
秦檜說：莫須有...
~~~
陸游說：我要死了
文天祥說：死得好，我為你喝彩！
完顏說：金大
耶律說：遼大
成吉思汗說：大你個球！
忽必烈說：亞歐大陸我說了算....
~~~
朱元璋說：高築牆
建文帝說：孫承祖業
朱棣說：我找我爹
嚴嵩說：清史留字
崇禎說：袁崇煥，你的良心大大地壞了....
李自成說：歇會，找個小姐來
吳三桂說：敢泡我老婆
皇太極說：三桂是個好同志
順治說：愛江山更愛美人
康熙說：江山好管兒子難教
雍正說：說我狠，我就狠給你們看
乾隆說：我爹是誰
嘉慶說：和坤是我爹留給我的遺產
~~~
羅貫中說：曹劉震河腰
吳承恩說：全盤西化
曹雪芹說；讀書人的事能算淫麼?
蒲松齡說：我是另類我怕誰？
~~~
林則徐說：我銷
洪秀全說：我反
康有為說：我變
孫中山說：看我的
慈禧說：木偶戲你當好演呀
李連英說：有奴才伺候
李鴻章說：九億白銀，小意思
袁世凱說：竊國者為諸侯？
~~~
蔣介石說：共黨未滅何以家為？
~~~
阿扁：好痛
連宋：假的
李昌鈺：我再研究研究
盤古說：我開
女媧說：我補
共工說：我撞
神農說：我嘗
精衛說：我填
誇父說：我追
后羿說：我射
嫦娥說：沒射著！
~~~
黃帝說：我們做什麼
堯說：我讓
舜說：我也讓
禹說：咱爺們怎麼辦？
啟說：讓他們求！
桀說：好玩
湯說：造反有理了
夏亡了……
~~~
紂說：痛快
武王說：我也反了
商亡了……
~~~
幽王說：點火
褒姒說：刺激
周也亡了……
~~~
干將說：我鑄
專諸說：我舞
荊柯說：我刺
瀛政一躲：沒刺著……
~~~
始皇說：我修
姜女說：我哭
陳勝說：有種
項羽說：我舉
劉邦說：我斬
秦亡了……
~~~
孔子說：我仁
孟子說：我義
老子說：我無為
莊子說：我逍遙
韓非子說：把他們全抓了
~~~
張良說：我出謀劃策
韓信說：我統帥三軍
蕭何說：我運籌帷幄
高祖說：老婆，怎麼辦
呂后說：全喀嚓了
~~~
文景說：我治
武帝說：我興
光武說：我中興
獻帝說：我說了不算
~~~
張騫說：我通
班超說：我也通
蘇武說：通個屁！
~~~
衛青說：我打
霍去病說：我也打
李廣說：我還打
昭君嫣然暈笑，遂天下太平
~~~
董卓說：我勢大
呂布說：我人帥
貂嬋說：你們倆誰厲害
董卓完蛋了
~~~
曹操說：快幫我脫鞋迎老許
劉備說：快給我牽驢來訪諸葛
孫權說：周郎自有妙計安天下
周瑜說：加油，燒死老曹
諸葛說：天下三分，人人有份
司馬昭說：向劉備同志學習
晉開始了
~~~
司馬遷說：要想成功，不怕被宮
班固說：我要出書
司馬相如說：一首賦稿費一千
曹操說：抄傢伙我要賦詩
曹植說：命題作文有何難
孔明說：我要寫道動員令
陶潛說：你們累不累呀。遂捲鋪蓋回家了
~~~
劉裕說：我同花順
蕭道成說：我一條順
陳霸先說：重新洗牌...
~~~
楊廣說：去揚州觀花
李淵說：消來公費旅遊
李世民說：魏，你的意思
李治說：老婆，你的意思
武則天說：那還不如我說了算
薛剛說：反了你了！
~~~
駱賓王說：鵝肥
王勃說：情深
李白說：酒美
王維說：景幽
孟浩然說：風流
杜甫說：屋漏
白居易說：抱想琵琶唱OK
李商隱：我沒話說了
~~~
柴榮說：三武廢費有我一份
趙匡胤說：今年流行黃袍子
寇准說：帶上瓶醋談判去
李剛說：保家衛國
徽宗說：沒保成
欽宗說：我想回家
金兀朱說：沒門
趙構說：把姓岳的抓了
岳飛說：我有何罪？
秦檜說：莫須有...
~~~
陸游說：我要死了
文天祥說：死得好，我為你喝彩！
完顏說：金大
耶律說：遼大
成吉思汗說：大你個球！
忽必烈說：亞歐大陸我說了算....
~~~
朱元璋說：高築牆
建文帝說：孫承祖業
朱棣說：我找我爹
嚴嵩說：清史留字
崇禎說：袁崇煥，你的良心大大地壞了....
李自成說：歇會，找個小姐來
吳三桂說：敢泡我老婆
皇太極說：三桂是個好同志
順治說：愛江山更愛美人
康熙說：江山好管兒子難教
雍正說：說我狠，我就狠給你們看
乾隆說：我爹是誰
嘉慶說：和坤是我爹留給我的遺產
~~~
羅貫中說：曹劉震河腰
吳承恩說：全盤西化
曹雪芹說；讀書人的事能算淫麼?
蒲松齡說：我是另類我怕誰？
~~~
林則徐說：我銷
洪秀全說：我反
康有為說：我變
孫中山說：看我的
慈禧說：木偶戲你當好演呀
李連英說：有奴才伺候
李鴻章說：九億白銀，小意思
袁世凱說：竊國者為諸侯？
~~~
蔣介石說：共黨未滅何以家為？
~~~
阿扁：好痛
連宋：假的
李昌鈺：我再研究研究
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