HOW MEN AND WOMEN SHOWER DIFFERENTLY . . .

How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

PRISON vs WORK

IN PRISON: You spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell.

AT WORK: You spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON: You get three meals a day.

AT WORK: You get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON: You get time off for good behavior.

AT WORK: You get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON: The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.

AT WORK: You must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON: You can watch TV and play games.

AT WORK: You could get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON: You get your own toilet.

AT WORK: You have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.

IN PRISON: They allow your family and friends to visit.

AT WORK: You aren’t even supposed to speak to your family.

IN PRISON: All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.

AT WORK: you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON: You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.

AT WORK: You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON: You must deal with sadistic wardens.

AT WORK: They are called managers.

NVIDIA Gets Stronger, Faster and Smaller

Originally from lowyat.net
Wednesday, 22 October 2008 12:20 PM

NVIDIA’s engineering team was given a challenge: deliver a desktop GPU which integrates full system I/O and discrete-level performance in one-half the size of previous integrated graphics solutions. The result: a 16-core CUDA-capable graphics architecture that enables mainstream PC users to play the latest top-selling PC games and enjoy silky-smooth, high-definition Blu-ray video playback—all without breaking the bank.



Say hello to the NVIDIA GeForce 9400 and 9300 motherboard GPUs for desktop PCs on the Intel platform.

“We’ve combined the power of three different chips into one highly compact and efficient GPU. In doing so, we’ve redefined the level of performance people can expect from a motherboard solution to enrich visual computing experiences for mainstream systems. You can now have the performance of a discrete GPU in a small form factor PC.”

The new NVIDIA GeForce 9-Series motherboard GPUs feature:
16-cores for processing DirectX 10 games and CUDA-accelerated applications
High-quality video playback with NVIDIA PureVideo® HD technology, which offloads 100% of all video processing from the CPU to the GPU
Support for advanced audio and video connectivity, including uncompressed LPCM 7.1 audio, dual-link DVI, and HDMI
Support for NVIDIA Hybrid SLI Technology, which boosts performance up to 70% above the motherboard GPU
Single-chip design with much smaller footprint than competing chipsets makes it ideal for small form factor and ultra-slim media center PCs

(Source: NVIDIA)

BenQ launches 16:9 full HD LCD monitors

BenQ has recently launched a new range of Full HD 16:9 LCD monitors to the market. Featuring 100% mapping to 1080p content and 5Gbps data transit, the new models are spread across BenQ’s E Series and M Series LCD displays. This range also includes what BenQ claims to be the world’s first 21.5” Full E2200HD LCD monitor, which will be targeted to gamers, movie enthusiasts, families, and professionals alike.

"Future-proof HDMI and DVI-D (both with HDCP) deliver easy connection to HD gaming consoles, Blu-ray players and set-top boxes. Gamers and movie fans are catered to as well with headphone jack, D-Sub, and super-smooth picture quality via the fast 2ms GTG response time. Senseye+photo Human Vision Technology, a proprietary digital image enhancement engine, additionally fine-tunes depth, clarity, and boldness with five preset modes – Standard, Dynamic, Photo, Movie and sRGB. Exceptional dark detail definition is afforded by a high 10,000:1 dynamic contrast ratio, which automatically adjusts the display’s backlight to optimize light levels for every scene. The sophisticated M Series in particular also sports a 2.0M webcam, integrated speakers, and microphone to make internet chatting more fun and spontaneous."

BenQ 16:9 1080p Full HD LCD displays are available now and prices range from RM689.00 to RM1,500.00.

Apart from that, BenQ is also introducing its “ultra-green” 16:9 720p models – the E900HD and G900HD – which feature energy-saving technologies that use a unique two-lamp design to emit 300 nits - the equivalent of traditional four-lamp models. This technology helps users reduce power consumption and decreases carbon dioxide emission by up to 25 percent.

The G900HD model is priced at RM539.00.

originally copyrighted by Lowyat.net

TAKE CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH

Live Life Without Limits!

The top five cancer-causing foods are:

1. Hot dogs
Because they are high in nitrates, the Cancer Prevention Coalition advises that children eat no more than 12 hot dogs a month. If you can't live without hot dogs, buy those made without sodium nitrate.


2. Processed meats and bacon
Also high in the same sodium nitrates found in hot! dogs, bacon, and other processed meats raise the risk of heart diseas e. The saturated fat in bacon also contributes to cancer.


3. Doughnuts
Doughnuts are cancer-causing double trouble. First, they are made with white flour, sugar, and hydrogenated oils, then fried at high temperatures. Doughnuts, says Adams , may be the worst food you can possibly eat to raise your risk of cancer.


4. French fries
Like doughnuts, French fries are made with hydrogenated oils and then fried at high temperatures. They also contain cancer- causing acryl amides which occur during the frying process. They should be called cancer fries, not French fries, said Adams .

5. Chips, crackers, and cookies
All are usually made with white flour and sugar. Even the ones whose labels claim to be free of trans-fats generally contain small amounts of trans-fats.

BRAIN DAMAGING HABITS


1. No Breakfast
People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level.
This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.

2. Overeating
It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power..

3. Smoking
It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.

4. High Sugar consumption
Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.

5. Air Pollution
The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.

6. Sleep Deprivation
Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.

7. Head covered while sleeping
Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.

8. Working your brain during illness
Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.

9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.

10. Talking Rarely
Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain

The main causes of liver ! damage are:

1. Sleeping too late and waking up too late are main cause. 2. Not urinating in the morning. 3. Too much eating. 4.. Skipping breakfast. 5. Consuming too much medication. 6. Consuming too much preservatives, additives, food coloring, and artificial sweetener. 7. Consuming unhealthy cooking oil. As much as possible reduce cooking oil use when frying, which includes even the best cooking oils like olive oil. Do not consume fried foods when you are tired, except if the body is very fit. 8.. Consuming raw (overly done) foods also add to the burden of liver.
Veggies should be eaten raw or cooked 3-5 parts. Fried veggies should be finished in one sitting, do not store.

We should prevent this without necessarily spending more. We just have to adopt a good daily lifestyle and eating habits. Maintaining good eating habits and time condition are very important for our bodies to absorb and get rid of unnecessary chemicals according to 'schedule.'

DO TAKE CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH..................

25 Ways to Improve Our Health

25 Ways to Improve Our Health
Brush twice a day.
Dress right for the weather.
Visit the dentist regularly.
Get plenty of rest.
Make sure our hair is dry before going outside.
Eat right.
Get outside in the sun every once in a while.
Always wear a seatbelt.
Control our drinking of alcoholic beverages.
Smile! It will make us feel better.
Don't over indulge ourselves.

Bathe regularly.
Read to exercise the brain.
Surround ourselves with friends.
Stay away from too much caffeine.
Use the bathroom regularly.
Get plenty of exercise.
Have our eyes checked regularly.
Eat plenty of vegetables.

Believe that people will like us for who we are.
Forgive and forget.
Take plenty of vacations.
Celebrate all special occasions.
Pick up a hobby.
Love our neighbours as ourselves.

Do all these things and we will be a happier, healthier person!
well, do anyone of us done that ?

Toshiba Launches 256GB Solid State Drives with MLC

Originally from Lowyat.net

Monday, 29 September 2008 09:17 PM

Toshiba Corporation today announced enhancements to its line-up of NAND-flash-based solid state drives (SSD) with the addition of an industry-leading 256-gigabyte (GB) SSD and the launch of a series of small-sized Flash Modules for netbook computers ultra-mobile PCs (UMPCs) and other mobile and peripheral applications. The new drives will be showcased at the CEATEC in Makuhari, Japan, from September 30 to October 4.

Samples of both the 256GB SSD and the Flash Modules are available now, and mass production following in the fourth quarter (October to December) of the year.

Toshiba’s new high density SSD brings 256GB of capacity, an original MLC controller that achieves higher read-write speeds, parallel data transfers and wear leveling to a 2.5-inch form factor drive. Alongside this, Toshiba provides support for the growing market for small, stripped down netbook computers and other personal equipment with the launch of Flash Modules, small SSDs supporting 8GB, 16GB, and 32GB densities.

The new 256GB SSD mounts NAND flash memory on a 70.6mm (L) x 53.6mm (W) x 3.0mm (H) platform. The drive offers performance characteristics essential for today’s mainstream notebook PCs: highly reliable, high density data storage and support for fast data transfer rates, with a maximum read speed of 120MB a second and maximum write speed of 70MB a second, via a high speed SATA 3.0Gb/s interface.

Flash Modules are fabricated on a 50mm x 30mm platform and offer a maximum read and write speeds of 80MB and 50MB a second, respectively. Flash Modules are also compatible with the SATA interface and will support continued development of the fast growing market for netbook PCs, UMPCs and mobile and peripheral applications by offering developers a wider range of SSD for integration in differentiated products.

Toshiba will continue to promote innovations that widen the horizons of the NAND Flash market and support its continued leadership in that market. The company will spur demand for SSD in notebook PCs laptops and digital consumer products by enhancing its line-up, offering products with different densities and interfaces in a range of packages, while advancing device performance.

This is hilarious ...

Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:

Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Carl Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)
Monica Cheng => Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
Suzie Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)
Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? ( anyone)
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan ( someone) And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's
this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan ( no one ) was
involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being

sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then
the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't

have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Lee. (sorry)

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!